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Creating an estate plan is a meaningful way to protect your wishes and provide for the people and causes you care about. But having the right documents in place is only part of the process. If your loved ones don’t understand your plan—or don’t even know it exists—they may face unnecessary confusion, delays, or disagreements.
Whether you’ve already completed your estate plan or you’re still putting it together, open and thoughtful communication can help ensure it works as intended. It can also give your family peace of mind knowing they understand your wishes before a crisis occurs.
Start With Your Goals and Values
Before discussing the details, start with the “why.” Framing the conversation around your values helps loved ones see your plan as a reflection of your priorities, not just a list of legal instructions.
You might say:
- “We want to make sure our children can stay in the family home.”
- “We hope to support certain charities that are important to us.”
- “We want to avoid burdening you with complicated decisions during a stressful time.”
Writing these points down before your conversation can help you stay focused and calm, especially if emotions run high.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
When you bring up your estate plan matters just as much as what you say. Avoid tacking the discussion onto a holiday dinner or a stressful family gathering. Instead, choose a setting where everyone can be present and attentive.
Some options include:
- Hosting a dedicated family meeting at home
- Meeting one-on-one with specific family members over coffee
- Scheduling a joint meeting with your attorney present
Pick a time when the people involved aren’t distracted, rushed, or dealing with another major life event.
Be Honest About Sensitive Topics
Families are complex. If your plan involves decisions that could surprise or upset someone, such as unequal inheritances, providing for a blended family, or excluding a relative, it’s better to discuss those choices in advance.
You don’t have to share every detail, but offering some explanation can prevent misunderstandings later. Framing these discussions with empathy can make a difference. For example, explain that you made a certain choice to meet a specific need or honor a personal promise.
If the conversation feels too difficult to handle alone, consider having a neutral third party, like a mediator or attorney, present to help keep things respectful and productive.
Decide How Much Detail to Share
Not everyone in your life needs to know the full contents of your will or trust. You might choose to provide:
- A broad overview to most beneficiaries
- Detailed instructions to your executor, trustee, or agents under a power of attorney
For added clarity, you can prepare a letter of intent or a simple written summary of your plan. This isn’t a legal document, but it can help explain your decisions in your own words.
Use Multiple Communication Methods
Relying on just one conversation can lead to misunderstandings or forgotten details. Consider combining verbal discussions with written or digital information.
Some effective methods include:
- Personal letters to heirs
- Secure digital storage of your estate plan documents, with access information shared with key individuals
- Written meeting notes so everyone has the same understanding
Make sure your executor or trustee knows where to find the original signed documents.
Keep the Conversation Going
Your estate plan isn’t static, and neither should your communication be. Life changes, such as marriage, divorce, the birth of a child, or significant purchases, can all lead to updates in your plan. Let your loved ones know when something changes that could affect them.
A simple way to stay on top of this is to set a calendar reminder to review your plan every two or three years and follow it with an updated conversation.
Making Sure Your Wishes Are Understood
Talking about your estate plan may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s one of the most thoughtful ways to protect your loved ones and give them clarity for the future. By choosing the right time, being open about sensitive topics, and using a combination of conversations and written guidance, you can make sure your plan is both understood and respected.
At Bozanian McGregor, LLC, we help you create an estate plan that not only reflects your wishes but is also communicated clearly to the people who matter most. If you’re ready to put a plan in place or want to ensure your existing plan is understood, contact us today to schedule a consultation.